


Pretty

by Ifwecansparkle



Category: Steam Powered Giraffe
Genre: Gen, Upgrade's backstory isn't creepy enough
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-14
Updated: 2013-03-14
Packaged: 2017-12-05 06:13:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/719793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ifwecansparkle/pseuds/Ifwecansparkle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She is pretty in the same way that the others are silly or charming or loving or gentle—because she is programmed that way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pretty

**Author's Note:**

> The character of Upgrade has never sat correctly with me, so I decided to play around with her.

She is pretty in the same way that the others are silly or charming or loving or gentle—because she is programmed that way—because it is her nature and her purpose. She is pretty because someone told her to be pretty, because someone before her was pretty, beautiful, desirable—

Dead.

 

Of course, that’s not the kind of thing you talk about in nice company. Or something you talk about at all, if you can help it. She asks The Spine one time, and he says “No, that’s silly.” But of course, he isn’t programmed to be good at lying. The Jon avoids the question entirely, showering her with gentle affection and compliments which from another robot would seem insincere. She can’t ask HatchWorth, but she doubts he would remember anyways. He tends to forget the bad things.

For all of his manic, annoying traits, Rabbit is the only one she trusts to tell her the truth. Perhaps it’s the duty of the oldest brother. She asks him once and he stares at her like she is a fool before he says “Yeah,” in a tone that orders her to keep up. “Of course. That’s why he made ya, Upgrade,” he punches her in the shoulder gently, but it still feels a little too hard. Metal hits metal and she wonders vaguely if his knuckles have left a dent. “Why else do ya think Pappy made ya so pretty?”

The word sounds like an insult coming from his mouth. She feels something akin to bile rising in her throat. “‘Kay,” she murmurs, and smiles at him. Everyone says she has a beautiful smile.

She makes the mistake of asking Colonel Walter once, too. She goes to him, timid and shy, in her nicest dress, and asks him for the truth. She has never called him Pappy or Father, because she knows, almost, instinctively, that he doesn’t play that role for her. “Colonel,” she says, because he likes that.

“Yes, Upgrade,” he says, looking up from his desk and clearing aside some papers.

“I was wondering-I wanted to know—”

“Yes, yes? Speak up.”

“I was wondering—who am I?”

He smiles placatingly at her, steeples his fingers, and says in a smug tone, “You’re Upgrade, of course.”

She almost stomps her foot, but instead she looks him in the eye and says, feeling her boiler roil, “No, I mean—am I…her?”

His smile falls instantaneously. There is a an expression of perplexity in his eyes: he has forgotten who she is as he adjusts a photograph on his desk, an austere picture of twin boys, still in baby clothes. They belong to someone else, not to her, not to anyone who came before her.

There is sudden clarity in the realization that she does not belong, that she had been forgotten, that her one purpose is obsolete. She nods to herself, thanks him politely, and turns to go.

“Upgrade?” He says, glancing up at her as she retreats.

“Yes,” she says, turning rapidly, willing to forgive him if he only asks. He smiles kindly at her.

“You’re looking very pretty today.”

She turns again, and runs away. Rabbit finds her some hours later. To his credit, he doesn’t ask her why she is crying.


End file.
